Life coaching for women

list

It has struck me recently just how key writing is to everything I do, work, domestic, everything.

At the core, the maypole around which all the ribbons of my life flutter and dance, is the humble list.

It’s such a simple device for getting our thoughts in order. When I got married I even had a list of all the lists I had.

Not everyone embraces this simple, elegant life support system; I’m always astonished that my partner can do a supermarket shop without any help from the written word. For me though, it’s key, allowing me to safely juggle my way through life.

A list is a commitment; if something is on a list, it will happen. It is a means of clearing my mind, of freeing up space for creative thought and is therefore part of the process of preparation when I am about to go into a coaching session.

The most basic list may be scribbled on the back of an envelope, the most magnificent has a notebook of its very own (see 'wedding' a few paragraphs up).

The list is my constant companion, constantly reinvented in a new and supremely helpful form. It brings me peace of mind, certainty, clarity and a reputation for being a woman of my word. Pretty powerful, I'd say.

Do you know your place?

Regular readers will know that I've been exploring a range of life's elements. I've talked about light heartedness, actual physical light and last time was about the gap between stimulus and response, the place where freedom of choice lives.  Another aspect of a life well-lived, one which we notice most in its absence, is a sense of belonging.

What does that mean to you? When I researched online I found that 'belonging' is usually associated with groups of people, networks, and families. True enough knowing there are people there for us, knowing too that we are there for them, is a crucial part of our personal security, self-worth and self-esteem.

Mind the gap - we all have freedom of choice

Sometimes, we hear or read things that REALLY make us think. I mean proper, deep, sustained thought. Something that resonates so loudly that it remains in your head for weeks.
And it can be something really simple, too, can't it? Here's an example, a thought planted in my brain within the past month that I have been using as a personal reference point and a resource for clients ever since.

turn on the light again

I have just taken delivery of my first ever 'daylight' low energy bulb. You see, though I live in a beautiful Pennine town, my home is in the valley bottom, at the foot of a steep hillside. The rooms at the front of the house are light, the upstairs rooms at the back are also light, but the kitchen and dining area is, particularly in winter, just like a cave sometimes.

Light, both in its tangible, if transparent 'real', and metaphorical forms, is a powerful tool in our efforts to create joy in our lives.

the length of a year

I saw my dear friend and colleague Jan Melloy at Pilates this morning. She does a lot of swimming and she was telling me that she loses count of how many lengths she's swum. Today she tried a new way of keeping count - as she set off she spent the first length thinking about what happened in her life when she was one, next length, she moved on to being two - you get the picture. She got up to age 30 this morning, which in itself is pretty impressive.

dumping the baggage

Often, in my ezine, I draw on my own experiences to illustrate a universal truth, or an aspect of the work I do as a coach. Sometimes a powerful metaphor emerges:

Some years ago I bought a brand new, very swish personal organiser. Black leather, very business-like and LARGE - a5 in fact. I loved the size of it - size being everything when you're a woman who is desperate to be taken seriously! In fact I longed for an A4 version of the same thing. Now, this diary is no light-weight. It's heavy, SO heavy that I haven't been able to take it anywhere with me for years! If I'm getting a lift, then OK, but if I then have to walk home, no way.

Not having a diary with you is a pain in the butt: you can never finalise arrangements until later on, never pass on that address straightaway, goodness knows what great parties I've missed because my identity was, for some perverse reason, tied up with a piece of strength-training equipment too heavy to lift off my desk.

brilliant ideas for christmas

I am just stunned by some people's genius!

First of all I was approached by a young woman who had a fantastic idea and wanted me to build her website. I was so knocked out by what she told me that I was more than delighted to get involved - the results are at www.fireflyjewellery.com - I've bought some of these amazing boxes of jewels as gifts and am absolutely thrilled with them. (And if you like the images, look no further than the amazing Mike Barrett at www.frogsdesign.co.uk)
Then, appealing to my deeply decadent self, along came another brilliant idea - and I've just got to share it. The email arrived with the subject line: Fancy a Snogg? - luckily I knew who it was from and my heart gave a ltttile skip (of course!) - my lust, in this case, was directed at the fanstastic fresh chocolate that this company produces. I've tasted it and it is utterly wonderful. Just have a look at the blurb - download it here -
and if you want to order - download the order form here.
Here's to a scrummy yummy Yule!

blimey that was quick

I give time (se previous posting) and time is what I just got given back.
For the past few days I have been struggling with my pc - in the middle of building two quite technically challenging websites Dreamweaver, along with my graphics suite and ftp programme have started to take AGES to load. I don't mean a few seconds longer than usual, I mean 20 minutes. Once they finally got going they were fine - but I was waiting, nerves fraying, for the moment when something horrible happened - the nasty blue screen for example.

a comfortable place

I've written before about the way we can find ourselves living in situations which, because of their familiarity, feel safe and comfortable. Even when they are really, REALLY uncomfortable. A little domestic event has illustrated this beautifully for me.

For a few years now my partner and I have have woken each morning with mild backache; well, for me it's mild, he is sometimes bent right over sideways, his muscles having seized up. Most unpleasant. Added to that is my tendency to fall straight to sleep and then wake up a few hours later, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in.