Life coaching for women

it's all over now

I got through it, though not unscathed. My great big gigging weekend was a great success though not without its stresses.

processing food for thought

It's fascinating to observe oneself processing challenges - finding ways through them. And of course, if you know at the outset that you will find a way through the challenge then it gives you extra confidence. A nice little circular bit of processing there!

So, to continue and complete my 'great big gigging weekend' set of postings:

Gongfusion is the real biggie. I grew up with no musical education, yet my uncle, the man I loved the most in the world, my father having died when I was four, was a fabulous jazz pianist. Those two pieces of information sculpted part of my internal view of the world when I was a young woman: musicians are the best, the most admirable of human beings, but I am not able to do that myself.

When in my mid-thirties I started to mix with musicians on a regular basis I was in complete awe, and I confess I still am to some extent.

chorally challenged

I joined my choir 2 years ago - it was always going to be a challenge as I don't really read music and I certainly can't 'sight sing' (i.e. see the note on the page and sing it correctly). But technology allows me to use a discreet recorder at rehearsals and I listen to CDs of the pieces; add to that the fact that I have quite a good ear, and have through my other musical exploits gained a fairly good sense of rhythm and I get by.

But this time our directors have chosen an extraordinary programme of works. We pride ourselves on not being run of the mill, on tackling unusual pieces and not just going for the populist choices. Well, they've excelled themselves and we have a programme that even my very musically intelligent colleagues tell me is extremely challenging. And on Saturday 1^st July we shall perform it for an audience of between 100 and 200 people.

I have soaked myself in this repertoire for the past 6 months - listening to the music whilst working at my desk - recording little sections and playing them over and over - I've even asked my partner to play extracts on the piano to help me fix the notes. I want to sing it all really well, yet I know, as the day approaches, that I may be not quite good enough. I shall of course take part and I shall occasionally mime (!) - it's also likely that I may sing some bum notes too. Oh Dear! I want to do it fabulously; I want to sing clear and true. I suppose part of me wants to be the one about whom the others say, 'stand next to her, she really knows what she's doing'.

This throws up for me an issue I come across all the time in my work with clients. �I�m not good enough.� It seems like we�re all just waiting for that moment when we�re exposed as frauds.

crazy weekend item 1

The first event in my great big wild gigging weekend is the last ever performance by The Bloody Big Soul Band featuring Doris and the Dinner Ladies. What a night to remember that will be. We're raffling our shocking-pink feather boas and buying really tacky pink glittery cowboy hats to wear and then throw into the audience at the end of the night. We'll sing 'We are family' with a tear in our eyes and indulge in anarchic dancing in place of our usual slick dance routines (not that slick really). Strange to think I am looking forward to it all being over.

In 1997, when my partner came up with the great idea of forming a 22-piece soul band I never dreamed how utterly it would change my life.

love it, actually

I've got a life-changing weekend coming up soon. The end of something big (the last ever gig of The Bloody Big Soul Band featuring Doris and the Dinnerladies - I'm a Dinnerlady aka a backing vocalist in this 22-piece soul band), the start of something potentially bigger (the first ever Gongfusion gig) and just to add to the 'gor blimey' factor, there is, sandwiched between the two, a performance of extremely challenging choral repertoire (involving Schoenberg and Britten to name but two, for those of you who know or care) with The Hepton Singers.

It's going to be pretty intense, added to and enhanced by a brief visit home by very dear friends who have moved to New Zealand.

I must admit that for a while I have been mentally calling this the 'weekend from hell', but a few days ago I gave myself a good talking to.