turn on the light (part 1)

When I'm coaching, more often than not, there is laughter. Certainly when I'm being coached there are endless hoots. (Of course, sometimes there are tears too, but more often, there's some laughter.)

Ever since I clarified my client group as women in mid-life who are stuck, being light-hearted, bringing light into their lives, has been a consistent aspiration when we start working together.

When life's tricky, when we are on a hamster-wheel, even one of our own making, life can become too serious. Fun is forgotten, laughter is lacking.

Having a light heart, a light spirit, is a direct route to a positive mental attitude, an optimistic outlook. You really can't have one without the other. The old adage 'laughter is the best medicine' is, of course, true. It is the 'feel-good factor'. (Isn't it amazing how many clichés I can squeeze into one paragraph!)

Often I encourage clients to laugh;  maybe to deliberately find DVDs of a favourite comedian, listen to old Goon Show recordings, watch Carry On movies, The Office or Monty Python. Whatever floats their laughter boat. For others it's about having more fun, allowing relaxation in.

There is something quite literal about that expression, 'light-hearted'. When we are in the slough of despond it can feel as if we are carrying a heavy, dull weight around in our chest. Light-heartedness, a facet of joy, is the opposite of this; it allows us to move more freely, to laugh more readily, to appreciate the world around us. The world is no longer 'heavy, man'.

I've recently discovered a wonderful book Healing Without Freud or Prozac: Natural Approaches to Curing Stress, Anxiety and Depression Without Drugs and Without Psychoanalysis (aff) by Dr David Servan-Schreiber, an award-winning psychiatrist and neuroscientist. In the very first chapter the author describes a link between heart and brain, a crucial link which we can harness to empower our well-being, including our mental heath.
He advocates a breathing exercise: deep, slow breathing, visualising the heart being bathed in oxygen. Whilst doing this, think of someone you love deeply, or a time when you were blissfully happy. The sort of thought which brings an involuntary smile to your lips.

My personal favourite is thinking about cuddling my 17-month old grandson, warm from his bath, snuggled up in his jamas, drowsy after his story, in the moments just before I pop him into his cot. Guaranteed to bring on that crucial, involuntary smile in any situation!

Dr Servan-Schreiber gives solid, scientific reasons for why this process is so effective in changing our mood. I suggest you just do it, for maybe 15 minutes, and enjoy the feeling of wellbeing it engenders.

By the way, aside from the fact that I have found this bok personally very useful (the simple heart-brain breathing exercise in chapter one is worth the cost of the book on its own) I have, in the past few months recommended it to many of my coaching clients and they have responded with 'amazing', 'fantastic book', 'I wish I'd started to read it sooner'.

Light-hearted people are a joy to be with; seek them out. If you have dark, heavy, negative people in your life, can you avoid them for a few days? Just to see how it feels. As you learn to be lighter in spirit you will be able to be less affected by their air of gloom. And what is extraordinary is that you will have, over time, a positive effect on them and they will change. That is a phenomenon I have witnessed time and again during my 5 years as a coach.