My mum always refused to acknowledge any of my successes or achievements to the extent that I would be hard put to identify any from my growing up years! No, really. Sooner than notice and remark on what I had done she would, in a manner of speaking, stick her fingers in her ears and sing 'la' very loudly!
As an adult I have slowly come to learn that, rather than making me 'spoilt' or developing me into a 'show-off', when I receive acknowledgement of what I do, when I get positive feedback, I become not just imbued with a rosy glow of pleasure but also phenomenally motivated, eager to take action, to do more of the same.
Often, when working with clients, we look at what matters to them, their values, things that must be present in their lives for life to feel 'right'. Many people need 'security' or 'freedom', some must have 'calm' or 'aesthetics'. And many, many people, most people in fact, need 'recognition'. Very often this is quietly said, almost 'admitted to' in sessions, as if the client were slightly embarrassed.
So, let's be clear, whether or not it's up there in your top five of essential values, whether or not you've even given it a moment's thought before, my bet is that you love it, you grow in self-esteem and you are more motivated when someone sincerely tells you you're great, congratulates you on a job well-done, or recommends your business to a friend.
My last newsletter brought me some of the most positive feedback I've ever had. For the article about life and marketing, yes it certainly seemed to hit the spot for many of you (here's a link to it ) - but mostly, to my utter delight, the warm words were to do with the anemone photograph I'd included.
And, boy, was that appreciated. So much did it reinforce my motivation and help along the self-belief that we all have to have in order to succeed that I accepted a 'gig' - the chance to photograph young people in a school band project.
The strong message I get from the personal development field is that motivation must come from within. Which is absolutely true - but what may be a tiny seed within will grow stronger when fed and watered by the support of people who really believe in you and are prepared to give you sincere approbation.
Seek them out! (And don't forget that THEY need it too. Remember to do as you would be done by.)
